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purgatory

by the wind chasers club

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1.
no friends 02:27
made love by the patio door back when i thought the wind chasers would take over i know who you were with last night sabotage the band, that's fine wet dreams, nicotine, i was quasi-quarantined at my desk i did my best some things are better left unsaid yet i'm talkin like an amateur some things are better left unsaid i know it said she didn't do it but i think she did been hangin over just like a kid with no friends no friends i think about you on the internet bearing breasts and pseudo-intellect you've made me a mother fucker, i've been mother fucking sad like you almost looked to be inside your car outside my pad so i cleaned up my face tried to eat some food gave you three days before i tried to tell you what to do but talking backfired man i came inside her car i regret the abortion all alone at the local bar i’m the exiled exhibitionist some things are better left unsaid yet i'm talkin like an amateur some things are better left unsaid i know it said she didn't do it but i think she did been hangin over just like a kid with no friends no friends no friends, oh fuck no friends nobody talks to me but i'm in a band i'll take off my shoes put on some lipstick and then they'll understand that i had something good inside of my chest i had something good
2.
drunk men 02:10
this cat he wears all black ‘cause he’s not that into living but is he trying to die? if he walks across your street at least i’ll know that he’s tryin i don’t wanna go back to jail there’s a spider in that cell and momma wouldn’t post bail he’s in the stall doing chemicals got a key in his hand and feelin five foot tall drunk men drunk men drunk men drunk man drunk men drunk men drunk men to the second verse i think my life is cursed i found his name inside of your purse i know you think that I’m asleep but i’m awake fantasizing ‘bout the boys in your dreams if i could watch them have you and paint themselves all over your skin you know i’d shake real hard while i lick it all up before some drinks at the bar drunk men drunk men drunk men drunk man drunk men drunk men drunk men drunk man and i’m just a fucking creep been trying to keep clean why did i treat you like a dog? and if i could touch your skin again or play pretend my heart would swell like a toad in hot water i drink alone i live at home i can’t remember what was said the last time we spoke
3.
fuck where i’m going i never want to stay i’m on a rug with some drugs in my blood at the end of the day i do my very worst to be first to leave the bar my band don’t rehearse yet the church knows who we are i sing about satan and the glory of his ways i’m a bad seed planted in faith i’m a bad seed planted in faith i’m a bad seed planted fuck where i came from i’m humming at the bay my mother was a kid here planning out her lingerie heard the doctor say, “he’s on the way, he’s on the way be afraid, be afraid of the bad seed planted in faith” of the bad seed planted in faith of the bad seed planted in faith fuck where i’m going i never want to stay i’m on a rug with some drugs in my blood at the end of the day i do my very best to look less like a criminal they told me to confess the jurist should be hospitable i am nothing more than what i am when i’m afraid i’m a bad seed planted in faith i’m a bad seed planted in faith i’m a bad seed planted in faith i’m a bad seed planted in faith i’m a bad seed plant
4.
it's heaven, i think i feel it i'm on the beach i'm drunk did i leave you or did you leave me? i'm not sure and then i crashed your car i folded up found my soul and fashioned metal you've had enough of me so dig a hole and sprout, you stoical seed could iI go back? could i go back? could i go back? could i go back? could i go back? could i go? i could taste your pain you were crying so i kissed you on your face i think i need it back i've been struggling with my problems as of late i hate that you're okay i hate that you’re okay i stopped counting the years and months i wasn't worried you were my focused dove now i'm living like a boy and taking drinks after those drinks and i wrote some lines shot rhythms through the dark we stopped the stars from shining and made a mess of who we are your standing out and i'm chipping my teeth could I go back? could I go back? could I go back? could I go back? could i go back? could i go? and hold your shaking body you turned your sadness into something constructive you've fabricated who i am it worked like malignancy and i made mistakes but i swear that she's an actress and i think that i was acting too can you tell that i've been dreading your birthday? it's murder seeing the future as of late i hate that you're okay i hate that you’re okay
5.
hey you didn’t see you come in in that little black dress like you’d never run from me hey you I like what I see been humming food chain love songs and feeling predatory come home with me stop your crying let me in let me in i’m coldblooded i’m coldblooded i’m cold i’m coldblooded i’m coldblooded i’m cold hey you didn’t see you come in in that little black dress like you’d never run from me hey you I like what I see you wore that little black dress you wore that little black dress for me it’s all for me getting to know you is such a chore let me in let me in i’m coldblooded i’m coldblooded i’m cold i’m coldblooded i’m coldblooded i’m cold and i’m coldblooded hey man, i’m coldblooded i’m coldblooded i thought you knew what I wanted when I took you to the graveyard i thought you knew what I needed when I put you on the street, naked hey you didn’t see you come in in that little black dress like you’d never run from me hey you I like what I see been humming food chain love songs and feeling predatory
6.
weekends we're just silly little men yeah we made a lot of plans in your car with empty cans feeling so close to you was a mistake and what about the road trip man? been hangin with my coke head friends i never made it out hey dan why you messin with my head? and my girl is not your friend got you lookin like a dead man hey dan, why won't you answer your phone? i think of everything i could have said to kylie 'bout her diary and what happened on her bed i've got some stories it haunts me at the best of times did you touch her? did you think of me at all last night? because i thought of you man hey dan why you messin with my head? and my girl is not your friend got you lookin like a dead man hey dan, why won't you answer your phone? i'm at the bar on my cobweb throne meet me in the backroom tell me you're sorry i would never hurt, no I could never hurt meet me in the backroom i'll show you what's good you couldn't stay away from my girl
7.
can’t get away from myself it’s time you knew what i’ve got doesn’t sell i defy you to name a good bar in this city that i haven’t been 86d from is it a woman? is it a thing? she’s got a cradle in the middle of the street i’m not the only one in my band to have seen her someone here is haunted been squirmin in the ether i told you it’s a bad idea to go out tonight we really fucked up man another cretan slumpin ‘round in the afterlife who here is scared of hell? i’m a fraud anti-god puked in the street and fell asleep on the lawn i’ve got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6, 6 reasons why i won’t say your name in any of my songs you dripped into my mouth stalactite condensation from your hips propped above my face as I make no sound just contemplated the grotesque mutation of our love oh fuck her friends think that I abused her there’s no premium these days on a good sense of humor a little bit of slapstick concealer with some chapstick i snooped around i know a little bit how many times? tell me what you did i can’t believe it’s him can’t believe it’s him i am not the one to blame just tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you did tell me what you
8.
hello my name is nick i’m a sadomasochist and an alleged alcoholic often hyper-melancholic i’ve got scars on my face i took your girl to third base then earned half a day sober told dan the whistleblower what i did last night i guess i got stage fright because my cock got soft and i felt like throwing up so i closed my eyes and thought of you so i could get it up i feel myself inside your head, head, head, head it’s where i want to be god i’m so fucking empty learned how to write in school and all about the cesspool that is my soul afraid to show it i’m a failed fringe poet i’ve been lurking outside in the middle of the night hiding underneath the monkey bars from the cop cars just another mistake of the human perception like our twenties go fast or that i found some direction there’s a shadow in my chest a year of purgatory’s got my feelin like death, angel i feel myself inside your head, head, head, head it’s where i want to be god i’m so fucking empty i’ll kill myself until i’m dead, dead, dead, dead would you wanna see? did you ever love me? emphysema(?) i feel myself inside your head, head, head, head it’s where i want to be god i’m so fucking empty i’ll kill myself until i’m dead, dead, dead, dead would you wanna see? did you ever love me?
9.
i'm like the cricket that the cat caught why'd he have to break it up when he came? i think the damage is severe enough i should beg you to sink your teeth into my brain but i won’t cause i want you to stay i shouldn't be the one crying or starving in the morning watching you been doing shots in your mother's kitchen and i'll talk until her face turns blue been reaching for the hand i'm trying not to hold before you go i have to know what i did wrong and why'd it take so long? mommy i want her daddy i need her to stay she's got those tired eyes like chainsaws at least chainsaws move faster than decay so cut me down to each corpse on the park bench in the sprawl next to windsong street, watching me love is an empty museum I keep humming beneath the umbrella tree, okay I'm just trying it out still reaching for the hand I'm trying not to hold I picture us together in a car crash mutual death is the ultimate form of intimacy before you go i have to know what i did wrong and why'd it take so long? before you go i have to know i have to know i have to know i have to know
10.
murmurs 01:21
getting older feels like a dream and i’m only awake while i sleep midnight talks wet sidewalks a couple beers the sprinklers wash it clean we feel like crying yet we keep on smiling the murmurs of death keep us warm yesterday i saw your face in a car just driving by I think about what we lost would i see myself through our daughter? all good things end we’re just fucking plebs the murmurs of death keep us warm the murmurs of death keep us warm the murmurs of death keep us warm

credits

released October 31, 2017

nicholas mayer - vocals, guitar
jason ledesma - guitar
josh skinner - bass
brian bray - drums

mixed by zac simon
mastered by max karon

recorded at cobra cult with shawn maldonado and zac simon
album art by lily piper faye

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